Day 4 of the 20-day Journal Challenge

Assignment: Write about a time when you were so happy. When you were so sad. Did you learn anything from those experiences?

Shortly after I had Emma, I remember being so filled with joy. I loved caring for my sweet little girl and her busy older brother. I felt so lucky to be able to stay at home with them full time and be a part of each milestone.

I had taken good care of myself during my second pregnancy, so I had a smooth recovery. I regained my energy quickly. Being physically healthy made it possible for me to keep up with 2 kids under 2. I was truly blessed.

Fast forward a few months.

I don’t remember much about this time other than being weighed down and so, so tired. I wasn’t myself. I couldn’t find pleasure in my life and I hurt all the time. I lost weight and physical strength. My sleep was erratic. After Rick witnessed me getting into a verbal altercation with a complete stranger in a parking lot one night, he urged me to get checked out. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression.

It took several months to find the right help for me. Once I found the best medication and a great counselor though, things got better. The fog lifted.

I learned (much later) that depression isn’t anything to be ashamed about. I also learned how important it is to accept help. Yes, we are very quick in our culture to take pills for anything that ails us. I didn’t like to be a part of that pill popping group. But, in this case, medication was an essential part of my recovery.