Exercise Diary of a Wounded Woman

I feel like a cripple. When I get up in the morning, everything hurts. My joints sound like a bowl of Rice Crispies as get out of bed. Not only is my sprain still holding me back, but me knees are rebelling too. I’m too young to feel this d*** old!

I’ve been trying to take it easy with the exercise. I tried an aqua jog class last Friday at the recommendation of a friend. I was the youngest one there. I actually got called a “slender thing” by a heaven-sent elderly lady. I haven’t heard that in awhile. I guess it’s all a matter of perspective. Anywho…It was a lot of fun. I found some new places to be sore, and I got my heart rate up without putting strain on my deteriorating joints. I do have to say one thing though. I will NEVER get used to the whole locker room scene. YIKES!

On Saturday I hobbled down to my dungeon to ride the stationary bike I inherited from my in-laws. There’s something so unnatural about riding a bike in a cave, going nowhere fast. After 5 minutes I was so bored! I grabbed some dumbbells and incorporated some weight lifting with my ride. As I stared at the Arnold Schwarzenegger posters adorning the basement walls, I wondered what he would say about my predicament. “Here me now, believe me later. You’ll be back.”

To my dismay, none of the other fitness instructors answered my plea to cover my 5:30 am Step class on Monday morning. I guess they prefer sleep or something. I hauled my carefully wrapped self down to the Y and taught to 3 people. Lame! Later that day I taught Kid Fit and let the kids run through my “obstacle course” of steps, cones, and tunnels. No one noticed that I wasn’t running along with the group. What a bunch of suckers!

My best adventure yet had to be my Tuesday outing with Shelby. She’s been acting a little blue lately, so we’ve been giving her “walk therapy” to perk her up. I was excited to get out of the house too, since I’d already met my Emma quota for the day. The first 50 minutes of our walk was delightful. I could feel my spirits lifting as we marched toward the park and through my dream neighborhood (if we end up staying here). Things took a turn though once we started back to the house. The gray skies turned even darker, and little droplets of rain turned into a full on shower. Pretty soon I was RUNNING home, practically dragging Shelby behind me. 15 minutes later we were at our front door step, soaked through to our skin. Our unsympathetic family received us with gawking and laughter. Rude.

The kids have swimming lessons on Wednesdays, so I accompanied them into the water. Some of the lanes are left over for lap swim during class so I took advantage. It’s been FOREVER since I swam laps. In fact, I haven’t had any kind of swim training since I was Jake’s age. Well, I was humbled. Swimming is pretty challenging, and I kind of stink at it. I struggled to see through Emma’s tiny little blue goggles she so selflessly loaned to me. Those little buggers kept fogging up! After awhile I gave up and did some more aqua jogging (a.k.a. thrashing about the deep end). I figure I need some coaching from a trained authority the next time I swim so I don’t ruin my reputation.

Well, I’m not going to give up. Spring is right around the corner. The snow flurries outside my window today don’t fool me one bit. Pretty soon the sun will shine, and I’ll take the ol’ Klein out for a ride. Until then, it’s simulated adventure for me. Hooray for treadmills and stationary bikes!