I hope Rick won't mind, but I'm posting a copy of his beautiful Mother's Day talk that he presented in church this morning:
"I grew up in a large ward with many youth. Like any other ward, we were called upon to periodically speak. For some reason, my turn always seemed to come on Mother’s Day. When Jared grabbed me in the hallway and asked if I’d be at church today and able to speak, I did not make the connection initially. Then I realized that it would be on Mother’s Day. This year though, my mother is not in the congregation. I will imagine though, that she is sitting in the front row with my family listening.
When I was about 15 years old, I visited with the bishop about getting my patriarchal blessing. I was taught its importance in primary and young men’s. I looked forward to the insight and direction it would provide. I prepared to receive the blessing by fasting and praying. I viewed that opportunity with as much solemnity as a 15 year old boy can. Then came the day of the blessing. I went to the Patriarch’s house; he laid his hands on my head and gave me the blessing. It was a special event that I will always remember. It provided a look into my past and gave me a roadmap to guide my future.
Today, I’d like to mention another similar blessing that I have received. It too provides a link to the past and helps lay out a course for the future. It is not as frequently mentioned as a Patriarchal blessing though. It is also less formal. However, it is just as important. Today, I’d like to focus on a Matriarchal Blessing.
A Patriarchal Blessing is a declaration of an individual’s lineage, thereby identifying certain blessings and privileges the individual may receive as a member of a specific tribe. It also gives counsel and can include specific blessings that may be attained if the recipient lives worthily. It is given by authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood by the laying on of hands.
By comparison, a Matriarchal Blessing is not a formal blessing given once, but the continued love and care of a Mother to her child. It also can provide a link to the past and qualify recipients for blessings. It can provide teachings and a foundation for righteous living. No recommend is necessary to receive a Matriarchal Blessing and it is given by many people across a lifetime.
As times and social circumstances have changes, the term mother has broadened. The traditional definition still is true. A mother is the female biological parent of a child. However, there are many other relationships that can be viewed as motherly. For example, a teacher, an aunt, a sister, even a spouse may contribute to someone’s Matriarchal Blessing.
I have had many women in my life that have helped me to become who I am and have influenced who I will become. I would like to pay tribute to them and recognize their part in my life. While many of the experiences I share are unique to me, I believe that the principles and themes are relevant for most.
I’d like to first remember my cat. Yes, even a pet may play a role as a mother. Growing up I had a female cat that to this day I believe considered me to be one of her kittens. She would bathe me and was rather protective of me. I had the opportunity to watch her deliver a litter of kittens as a 3rd grader. It was a fabulous experience. I was able to see firsthand the miracle of life. She unknowingly allowed me to witness new life and early lessons about loyalty and friendship.
I have 2 sisters. One of them was married and out of the house when I was 7, so I do not have many memories of her growing up. However, she was married in the temple and active in her wards. She demonstrated the importance of temple marriage and church participation. Her family has had many challenges through the years, but she has remained faithful to her covenants and callings.
My younger sister and I however, were very close in age. Of course we had the customary arguments and fights typical of siblings, but through a trial and error process (with many errors), she helped me learn how to treat and relate with girls. At the time I was too cool, or at least too teenaged to recognize it, but she was a great influence in my life.
I cannot count the number of female teachers that I have had in school and church. President Monson commented that, “the teacher not only shapes the expectations and ambitions of pupils; the teacher also influences their attitudes toward their future and themselves. A citation to such a teacher could well read: “She created in her room an atmosphere where warmth and acceptance weave their magic spell; where growth and learning, the soaring of the imagination, and the spirit of the young are assured.” Much of my formal religious education was at the knee of women teachers. My early scouting exposure was with female den leaders. They helped start me on the path to earn my Eagle.
Growing up in the church, I was very blessed to be surrounded by good friends with good families. In most good families, you will find a good mother. There are a few that stick out in my mind as especially influential in providing my Matriarchal Blessing. Two in particular are at the forefront of my memory. One was the master of all things domestic; the other could do anything with her hands. Both were examples of faith and works. Both were relief society Presidents at one point or another. They both had me in their homes countless times and taught me through their examples.
On my mission, my Mission President’s wife always had a smile for the missionaries. She fed us well when we were in the mission home and at conferences. At Christmastime, she always had a handmade gift for us. She was a great example of honoring the priesthood and supporting the missionary effort. While I am sure that she had to make sacrifices to be there, I never saw her without her smile or a warm handshake."
(This is where Rick got a bit teary)
"I have a 10 year old daughter. Even our children can contribute to our Matriarchal Blessing. My daughter is the epitome of joy. She is continually smiling. In fact, we’ve had a tough time disciplining her because she is always so happy. She is very loving and always has a hug to give. Her favorite thing in life is to take care of her nieces and nephews. Since we are so far from our extended family, she has taken to loving anyone smaller than she is in the ward. She is a great example to me of unconditional love and continual joy.
What can I say about my wife? She is the glue that holds our family together. From as far back as I can remember, her main aspiration in life was to be a mother and a teacher. She has done both. She was instrumental when we were dating in high school in my seminary attendance. Even then she was trying to make sure everyone was at seminary. I knew that she would marry a returned missionary so that further influenced my decision to serve a mission. Her desire for a temple marriage supported my own and helped lead us there. Through the years, I have seen the sphere of her influence grow as we had children. The patience she shows helps me strive to be more patient. She fills our home with good music that invites the spirit. She is an example of physical health that motivates others. She is continually in the scriptures and loves the Lord. I will always be grateful for the love and support she gives me and our children. She is a major contributor to my Matriarchal Blessing.
I was very lucky when I got married. We are all familiar with the stereotypical in-law horror stories. I married into a fantastic family. I am as close to my in-laws as I am to my own family. My mother in law is a strong, faithful woman who has blessed me not only by raising my wife, but has also treated me like a son since our first meeting. She has counseled and advised on many decisions that I have made. She’s been an example of dedication to the Lord and to family. She has always been a loving grandmother to our children. She has enriched my life and I am grateful for her influence.
The other main contributor to my Matriarchal Blessing is my own mother. As she celebrated her 70th birthday this year, I am forced to acknowledge a new time in her life. She is beginning to slow down. Our phone calls now seem to focus more on health concerns rather than trivialities. However, as Robert Munsch put it, “I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my Mommy you'll be.” While there are many women that influence and touch our lives, few can match the impact of our actual mothers. From the first to the last breath, our mother’s influence is everywhere. There are certainly many circumstances in which this may not be the case, but for me it has been.
I remember sitting in my mother’s arms as a child, rocking in an arm chair. Holding my blanket, there was no safer or better place to be. I was blessed to have a mother that was able to be at home when I arrived from school. It was comforting to know that she would always be there waiting for me. She was there through happy and sad times. While I did not always show her the appropriate respect as a child and teenager, she still loved me. She taught me to challenge myself and not to settle. She helped me develop self confidence and allowed me to chase my dreams. She set me on the path of becoming a responsible, faithful adult. She ensured that Christ had a place in our home. I saw her serve in many callings. She has always supported the priesthood and encouraged me to fulfill my responsibilities as a youth. She is a great woman. I love her. She’s my mother.
I worry that the women who are so influential in our lives are underappreciated and even demeaned by society. As with many things righteous, the world contorts maternal roles and ideals into something unfulfilling and unimportant. At the April 1988 General Priesthood Session, Elder James E. Faust referred to women as “the enrichment of humanity.” However, not many TV shows depict mothers as such. They are either self centered, power hungry vixens or bumbling, incompetent loafers. The media paints an often unattainable image that becomes the ideal for women to attempt to duplicate. Gender centered roles are scoffed at as being sexist or repressive. Women are supposed to look a certain way, keep a perfect home, raise perfect children and be perfect wives. This is simply impossible. Failure to achieve this impossible standard can lead to low self worth and feelings of inadequacy. A more realistic picture is painted by Mary Jo Garascia. She wrote:
Real Mothers don't eat quiche; They don't have time to make it.Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils Are probably in the sandbox.Real Mothers often have sticky floors, Filthy ovens and happy kids.Real Mothers know that dried play dough Doesn't come out of carpets.Real Mothers don't want to know what The vacuum just sucked up...Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?' And get their answer when a littleVoice says, 'Because I love you best.'Real Mothers know that a child's growth Is not measured by height or years or grade... It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother.....
The Family Proclamation teaches that “mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.” Nurturing refers to parenting behaviors such as warmth, support, bonding, attachment, recognizing each child’s unique abilities, and attending to children’s needs. Nurturing in and of itself is more important in the development of a child than is any particular method or technique of child rearing.
There are many females influential in our lives. They all together bestow our Matriarchal Blessing. I hope that we are all mindful of their importance and impact in our lives. I pray that we treat them as the Lord would. We should honor and cherish them as individuals for who they are and what they do. I would like to close with the following story:
A man stopped at a
flower shop to order some
flowers to be sent to his mother who lived two hundred miles away. As he got out of his car he noticed a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing.He asked her what was wrong and she replied, "I wanted to buy a red
rose for my mother.But I only have seventy-five cents, and a rose costs two dollars." The man smiled and said, "Come on in with me. I'll buy you a rose."He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother's flowers. As they were leaving he offered the girl a ride home. She said, "Yes, please! You can take me to my mother." She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave. The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the order, picked up a
bouquet and drove the two hundred miles to his mother's house.
May we all take the time to remember those women who have touched our lives today and everyday."
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